It is so easy in life to do too much for other people. You become other people’s ‘go to’ person for information, love and support. Whilst it feels nice to be wanted, often you can be heading for burnout without even realising it. Having burnt out myself – several times, it hasn’t been pleasant and I’ve needed to learn to slow down, and to learn to relax. By learning holistic therapies such as Reiki, The Balance Procedure, Neuro Linguistic Programming and Mindfulness Meditation I have become more grounded, secure and have a much deeper understanding of my life purpose. I’m also much happier, healthier and more energetic. I had to learn how to be the true me, without worrying about what others thought about me. I also had to learn how to help people less as I was giving too much and was allowing others to under value me and giving too much away for free. As have valued myself more, in turn my business and life has turned around and is so much more balanced and I’m much happier.
What is Burnout?
Burnout is the state of mind that comes with long-term, unresolved trauma and stress that can negatively affect your work and your life. Burnout occurs when a person does not put their happiness first and when they negatively react to situations in life which cause them stress and anxiety. They are triggered by trauma from the past. By getting stressed, they get to a point of overwhelm and burnout. Burnout can come from working too hard or from constant daily different types of high stresses such as a chronically ill relative needing help, elderly parent with dementia, dealing with poverty, relationship breakdown/divorce, etc.
At burnout, a person will need a period of rest and recovery. According to the HR News on 23rd October 2020, more people online are searching for the signs of burnout which shows a 24% increase throughout 2020 compared to the previous year.
One common time for burnout to occur is during peri-menopause/menopause. With the shift of hormones, the feelings of anxiety and depression can rise and it can be an overwhelming transitional time for women and men who suffer with andropause. The challenges of children leaving home, relationship changes- divorce/separation, redundancy, parents becoming ill or needing more care as well as health issues occuring can push a person over the edge. Someone who is always busy, who can’t sit down as they are too busy, often has unresolved trauma and is burned out. Their minds are over active.
What are the signs of Burnout?
- Overthinking and over analysing life
- Anxiety and depression – just wanting to be happy but can’t make self feel happy
- Racing thoughts/mind
- Bad habits forming – drinking more, dabbling with drugs, gambling, spending money on things you don’t need
- Always feeling busy and haven’t got any time to relax and to do fun things
- Not eating well or exercising regularly – poor self care routine in place
- Always on the go, with a need to keep busy, often doing more than one thing at once
- Chronic pain setting in
- Ungrounded – irrational thoughts forming, more spiritual messaging coming through thoughts, not feeling good enough
- Feeling misunderstood, alone, isolated and disconnected from themselves
- Procrastinate and put off tasks as they feel stuck
How do you overcome Burnout?
- B alance – get the balance right in your life by addressing what is making you feel unhappy. Get your priorities clear (you need to pick one area of your life at a time to fix, otherwise you will get overwhelmed.) Create better boundaries with those around you and put in place a strong self care routine which you stick to. Look at where your energy is being lost – to tasks, situations and people. Ask yourself what do you need to learn to change the situation?
- U nderstand yourself and your behaviour really well. If you know you like to please others, know that you need to learn how to say no and to put your happiness first. This is not selfish and you will have more energy for yourself to replenish you and more energy to help others. Fill your cup first. Analyse your emotional health and ask yourself what behaviours/habits do you need to change so that you only experience happy emotions. For example, you may reach for the biscuit barrel when you feel stressed. Understand that negative emotions will in time put you at ‘Dis-ease’ and you will develop long term conditions like Diabetes. Learn some emotion centred techniques e.g. The Balance Procedure and Emotional Freedom Technique to release negative and toxic emotions from your body and aura. You want to be at ‘Ease’ with yourself not ‘Dis-ease’. Are you putting up with things that you shouldn’t be? If yes, then look at how you need to change and to become more resilient.
- R eality – remember you are a creator of your own reality. Your reality is created from your thoughts, actions and behaviours. Start changing your thoughts if you don’t like your reality and focus on positivity. Look at your life (the hard honest truth of how it really is – the reality not how you want it to be) and ask yourself, what needs to change to move your life forward so that you are happier and feel more balanced. Who do you want in your life to enrich it? What is your life purpose?
- N uturing Self – are you good at looking after yourself or do you always put others first? Take a good hard look at what you do to look after yourself – this could be having a regular manicure, an exercise routine, time out with friends, time to do your hobbies. Look at how you can love yourself more and know that you are good enough. (Take a look at The Love Game) Make time for you. Ensure you get enough sleep. If you are in pain or can’t sleep, go and see a holistic therapist such as myself to support you with this journey. It is important not to suffer in silence and often you can get help to resolve these issues too. Ask for help too and receive what is offered to you.
- O pportunity to go outside – look at how you can bring yourself back to nature and to spend more time in nature. Nature will naturally ground you and replenish your energy. Hug a tree, sit quietly and meditate and just listen to the sounds of the birds, wind, water and feel the peace sweeping through you. Use natural ways to re-balance you. If you are in a job where you aren’t near nature and at home you aren’t either, take time to watch nature programmes or videos on Youtube. They will work on you too. Taking the down time will help reset and refresh your body.
- U nconditional love for yourself and others will help you to understand how unique and wonderful you are. If you have been giving too much to others, now is the time to spend more on yourself. Learn how to say no and to appreciate yourself. Learn how to be more grateful and appreciative about yourself by putting your needs first and looking at how you can change your life so that you are healthier, happier and more successful. Believe in yourself and step out of your comfort zone. Stop comparing yourself to others and reduce and eliminate all judgement of others. Forgive those around you who cause you hurt and harm now but also from your past. Also forgive yourself for any things which you feel bad about too.
- T ime for you to re-evaluate your time. Everyone has the same amount of time in life and if you are regularly saying you don’t have time to do the things which give you pleasure and happiness, then it is time for you to slow down and to become less busy. Say no to others who take up your time, plan your time more effectively and declutter your diary to prioritise self care activities. Work smarter and work on yourself. Meditate every day and you will discover much more time. Simplify your life and enjoy the simple things in life. Walk away from the rat race you have found yourself in.
If you are experiencing burnout and you would like some assistance to get you re-charged and re-energised, do get in touch. The Relax Retreat (learning both Reiki and the Balance Procedure) would be an excellent way to take time out for you and to start your journey of getting back on track as well as reading Are you worth it? A spiritual guide to managing your money mindset. For a free 20 minute chat, email firstname.lastname@example.org